The Day of Leaks

I said "leaks" , not "leeks". It wouldn't be the done thing to attract Welsh people to this blog. Wouldn't want to bore them silly after all.

Today was a day of leaks. Here, in New Zealand, it is mid-winter. It started off with my head not leaking. This was not all that good because I have a headcold and consequently felt like my ears were going to invert like a pregnant woman's belly button. Fortunately, they remained within the boundaries of my lobes.

I spent the morning at work sucking on decongestant tablets and injecting menthol vapor-emitting tubules up my nostrils. Combined with refactoring my code for a calibration module, it wasn't the most productive morning ever. Fortunately, I spend Thursday afternoons at university.

Today is the first time in a week that I have been able to ride my bicycle. I had to get the back wheel repaired after I somehow simultaneously blew out my back tyre and a spoke. This is my main form of exercise at the moment, so I've been hanging out to get back on it and pump those leggies. This morning was great, though cold, and after lunch I blasted my way to uni in about ten minutes.

I had a pleasant afternoon, I sat in the dazzling sunlight (one of those beautiful, crisp Canterbury winter days) and ate a steak sandwich and chips. After a leisurely stroll, I ended up at the book store and found two books I had to have: A collection of Philip Larkin's poetry (I'm not gay, but I've fallen in love with him!) and the latest Haruki Murakami book - a collection of short stories - I'm relishing digging my literary teeth into those. That's where the fun started to taper off, and the leaks began...

Leak #1: Reality
2:00 pm. I guess this headcold was getting to me a bit more than I thought. Sitting in my Wavelets & Data Compression lecture, I felt consciousness slipping away and my eyelids would have killed a dozen rancors. Somehow, I survived falling asleep - which is fortunate given that there are only three students in my class (that sort of thing is more noticeable then, apparently...).

Leak #2: Bodily Fluids I; aka Damn those diuretics
3:00 pm. After that was a bigger test - two hours of data mining lecture. Fortunately, I managed to get a flat white and a bottle of Coke Zero in the ten minutes between lectures. Perhaps it was a caffeine deficiency? Whatever it was, propping myself up artificially has its drawbacks. The main one is that a two hour lecture + coke = having to leave halfway through to micturate. I won't go into details.

Leak #3: Pressurised atmospheric containment device (PACD), part 1.
5:00 pm. I was looking forward to getting home and savouring some delectable dish. Alas, my bicycle had sustained a component failure: a flat rear tyre. Tired, not feeling all that healthy and somewhat hungry, this did not please me. However, no matter: I had my spare tube, bike pump and plastic thingees to get me back on the road. Within five minutes, I had changed tubes and headed out to Kilmarnock Street on the way home.

Leak #4: PACD, part deux.
5:05 pm. Bad news. Approaching my old school (Altiora Peto!) I felt my bicycle wobble. Bugger. Yet another puncture? It was my back wheel again. It was at this moment that I realised my great folly: my "spare" tube was in fact a tube that I had changed after another leak eighteen months ago. I guess I should be thankful I didn't sustain a leak on one of my 50 km rides. Unfortunately, I don't carry more than one spare tube: time to bring in reinforcements.

Ring ring... ring ring... but no pick up. Damn it. Try again: this time ring the cellphone... no answer. Fantastic! Oh well, in the absence of anyone at home, I now get to walk my bicycle home.

Leak #5: Nokia's battery technology.
5:20 pm. Now, in the middle of Hagley Park, I tried ringing home again to initiate a retrieval operation. Alas no answer. Ring ring.. ring ring... silence. What? Ah. The battery has failed. By now I was a little pissed off.

Leak #6: Splish splash.
Unfortunately for the phone, I happened to be walking past Victoria Lake. I've been umming and ahhing about buying a new phone for ages... now I have a real incentive. After removing my SIM card and stashing it in my wallet (will it survive?), I put my bike down by the lakeside, cranked up my throwing arm, and gave my cellular phone a burial at sea. That's the last time that buggy firmware and battery will annoy me!!

Leak #7: More moisture
5:45 pm. Somewhat melancholy, I walked past Le Bon Bolli. Perhaps my favourite place to get desserts from. Still without dinner, I decided that it would be perfectly acceptable to have my dessert prior to dinner. (Three hours later, it has ended up being my dinner.) Once inside those comforting walls, I ordered a slice of the chocolate mousse cake and another flat white (I do like my coffee). Eagerly anticipating these comforts, I whipped out my poetry book to try and look sort-of classy. Next time I'll untuck my jeans from my sock. Then my cake arrived. I'm not sure how long ago it was made, but chocolate mousse wouldn't have suggested the disappointing levels of staleness. Oh well. I consumed, paid the bill and continued my walk home.

Leak #8: Bodily fluids II
On the final stretch toward home, my heel decided to stretch my leakage theme that bit further. It would seem these shoes were not made for walking and rather for blistering. I walked the last mile with one shoe. Hardly a trial, but I'm still trying to defrost my toes!

Ah well, at least tomorrow can't be too much worse than this afternoon. No more leaks. I'm going out to buy some Gladwrap just to make sure, damn it.